Wikipedia:WikiProject Military history/Assessment/Battle of Jenin - Wikipedia
- The following discussion is preserved as an archive. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.
- Closed but not promoted --ROGER DAVIES talk 06:12, 18 October 2008 (UTC)[reply]
I've rewritten this article, and it has since been rated as B-Class. I think it could make an A-Class, and would appreciate some input on how it can be improved. Thanks. -- Nudve (talk) 07:25, 1 October 2008 (UTC)[reply]
Comments—I'm not sure on the specifics of WP:LEAD, but I am a fan of either an entirely unsourced lead or an entirely referenced lead. That way there is no confusing on whether the rest of the lead should also be referenced (the referenced material should just be repeated in the main body of the text). It is a well referenced article on a touchy subject, given the widespread nationalism found on Wikipedia. There are some MoS issues, as outlined below:
Thanks for your comments!
- About the lead: one ref is for a quote, which includes the word "terrorist". It could be problematic per WP:TERRORIST. If you think its important, it could be rephrased. Actually, I'm discussing this lead with another user at the talk page now, so I'll see how that develops.
- Update: Following a discussion, the lead was slightly changed. -- Nudve (talk) 07:05, 4 October 2008 (UTC)[reply]
- Numbers between parenthesis (conversions) should not have the units spelled out.
- I've removed the "pounds" conversion.
- In all instances there should be a between the number and the unit (whether abbreviated or not).
- I'm not sure I understand. Can you clarify? It looks like space.
- If possible, dates should be delinked—this is becoming the preference.
- I found one outside the lead, and delinked it.
Overall, however, it looks good. You will probably be asked to get someone to copyedit the article, although I'm not sure if this will be a requirement for the A-class. I would see if anybody is interested, regardless. JonCatalán(Talk) 22:26, 2 October 2008 (UTC)[reply]
- Agains, thanks a lot! -- Nudve (talk) 06:52, 3 October 2008 (UTC)[reply]
- To clarify, there should be conversions, but the units of the converted numbers should be abbreviated. For the second point, apparently the no wiki tags didn't work for that. Basically, the space should be created by a & nbsp ; (all together), instead of a physical space (this way the number and the unit will remain on the same line; otherwise, there's a chance that they will break lines). Hope this is clearer! JonCatalán(Talk) 15:38, 3 October 2008 (UTC)[reply]
Done -- Nudve (talk) 18:26, 3 October 2008 (UTC)[reply]
- To clarify, there should be conversions, but the units of the converted numbers should be abbreviated. For the second point, apparently the no wiki tags didn't work for that. Basically, the space should be created by a & nbsp ; (all together), instead of a physical space (this way the number and the unit will remain on the same line; otherwise, there's a chance that they will break lines). Hope this is clearer! JonCatalán(Talk) 15:38, 3 October 2008 (UTC)[reply]
- Agains, thanks a lot! -- Nudve (talk) 06:52, 3 October 2008 (UTC)[reply]
Support JonCatalán(Talk) 20:07, 3 October 2008 (UTC)[reply]
- I have to retract my support, due to neutrality issues. JonCatalán(Talk) 05:34, 18 October 2008 (UTC)[reply]
Comments Some MoS comments:
- First, don't start headings with 'the' or 'an' or any words such as those.
- Next, put in-text citations after, not before, punctuation marks. Other than that, looks pretty good. I'll read it through later and leave more in-depth comments. Cheers, ṜέđṃάяķvюĨїήīṣŢ Drop me a line 16:42, 6 October 2008 (UTC)[reply]
- Quick comment-clarify what type of boobytraps under 'Jenin' section. It says it was 113 kg, but what was? ṜέđṃάяķvюĨїήīṣŢ Drop me a line 16:49, 6 October 2008 (UTC)[reply]
- Thank you very much for your comments, Redmarkviolinist. As it turns out, the article is not quite as stable as I originally thought. There appears to be some dispute over the lead. Therefore, I'd rather wait for it to settle before making minor tweaks. Again, thanks! -- Nudve (talk) 17:04, 6 October 2008 (UTC)[reply]
- That is fine, but these issues still need to be fixed before A-class. Cheers, ṜέđṃάяķvюĨїήīṣŢ Drop me a line 20:04, 6 October 2008 (UTC)[reply]
- Well, I've clarified the bombs issue and renamed the section. I agree on the inline citations, but can you specify where you see them? because a search for ">." didn't find anything. Thanks. -- Nudve (talk) 07:14, 12 October 2008 (UTC)[reply]
- That is fine, but these issues still need to be fixed before A-class. Cheers, ṜέđṃάяķvюĨїήīṣŢ Drop me a line 20:04, 6 October 2008 (UTC)[reply]
- Thank you very much for your comments, Redmarkviolinist. As it turns out, the article is not quite as stable as I originally thought. There appears to be some dispute over the lead. Therefore, I'd rather wait for it to settle before making minor tweaks. Again, thanks! -- Nudve (talk) 17:04, 6 October 2008 (UTC)[reply]
- Quick comment-clarify what type of boobytraps under 'Jenin' section. It says it was 113 kg, but what was? ṜέđṃάяķvюĨїήīṣŢ Drop me a line 16:49, 6 October 2008 (UTC)[reply]
Oppose - this article appears to have been subject to several disputes recently, including a copyright violation, and now contains a neutrality tag; it thus fails criteria A2. Abraham, B.S. (talk) 03:31, 14 October 2008 (UTC)[reply]
Oppose - I'd have to oppose because of the neutrality tag alone, that would not even let it pass a GA review, especially with the disputes surrounding the article. I'd recommend working on getting it to GA first then bring it back here for A class review if the article stabilizes. --Banime (talk) 19:47, 17 October 2008 (UTC)[reply]
- The above discussion is preserved as an archive. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page, such as the current discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.