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FunkMonk 102,365 edits |
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Line 68: *"whose remains are found in the same bonebed as Laquintasaura" Were found? Why present tense? *:Tenses have always been my biggest struggle with writing. Fixed. *"showing a distinct triangular shape" Its triangular shape? *:Fixed. *"Holotype tooth of Laquintasaura" Link holotype. *:Fixed. *"it may have shared omnivorous behaviour" Diet instead of behaviour? *:Fixed. *"and a quadrate" Link and spell out quadrate bone, even explain where in the skull it is located in parenthesis. *:How's it look now? *You can link anatomical terms to the [[Dinogloss]]. *:Did this for description, but overlooked it for discovery. Added now. *"an early ornithischian" Link this and other terms at first mention always. *:Added in that case. *"Finding no vertebrate fossils" Link vertebrate. *:Added. *Unlink Argentina. *:Removed. *Link [[fossil preparation]]. *:Added. *"by a team of French palaeontologists" Who led this expedition? *"Several years later in the late 1990s, he would become aware" Who is "he"? You mention no people in the preceding sentence. *:Sánchez-Villagra; switched in pronoun for his name. *"their return to Venezuela as well, when they were deposited in the collections of the Museu de Biología de la Universidad de Zulia (MBLUZ)." "where" make more sense than "when"? *Fixed. *"conduct additional expeditions to find additional material" The double "additional" is repetitive. *:Removed first one. *" they were referred to the genus Lesothosaurus" In what what? As L. sp. or to a specific species? Line 102: *Do we really need to know in what journals studies were published in? Doesn't really seem to add much to the story, and can just be checked in the citations. *:I suppose not, removed. *"Tibia and ischium of Tachiraptor, whose remains are found in the same bonebed as Laquintasaura" Do we know when and during which expeditions? *Link more bone articles when you list the known elements under discovery. Many of the are also uncommon enough that they could need in-text explanation in parenthesis. *:Added. *It would make more chronological sense to list what the type specimen(s) is in the paragraph where you deal with the naming and material than in the subsequent paragraph where it seems unrelated to the surrounding text. *"later described with a newly recognized tibia" Newly means little if you don't give a date. *:It's meant to be newly relative to the teeth, but I've reworded the whole sentence to be more clear. *"Locality of the bonebed" You could add the name of the country or the formation to the caption. *:Added. *You start by mentioning a French team, and the go on to mention another team that appears to be local, but without giving their nationality. Could be good to mention for context. And since much of this seems to be "parachute-science", perhaps also for other people mentioned. Line 118: *"The small size and conservative skeletal anatomy of the species" Since you mainly use the generic name, including in the preceding sentences, it seems off that you say species and not genus. *:Switched to genus name. *"with traits with armor and quadrupedality" With traits like? *:Fixed. | |||